Poems to Get Kids Hooked

I stumbled upon another amazing poem to get the class laughing. Especially Apache kids, because as the math teacher said, "You can't beat their sense of humor."

Anyway, include this one in your compilation of poems for teens. It's a gruesome, funny poem with a potent environmental message. So copy and paste this one.

Sun with Issues

by David Colosi

I got a heat wave burning in my heart. I can't keep from
crying, tearing me apart.
--Martha and the Vandalls

This one goes out to you who wrote so many for me:
"Sunshine of Your Love,"; "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone,";
"On the Sunny Side of the Street,"; "Good Day Sunshine,";
"You Are the Sunshine of My Life."
I'm your pleasant caress, your warm redress.
It's gonna be a scorcher, time for a little torture
pleasure is pain, pain is pleasure,
come to the beach for a day of leisure.
I'll give you tans, open your glands,
I see you behind your Ray Bans.
I'll melt your radio in the street, burn the flip-flops off your feet.
Rub that SPF 30 on your skin, only then will I begin
to lick it off like bar-b-que sauce, and
bathe you in my rays, saute you three or four more days,
drain you as I multiply, suck 60% of you dry.
My deadly stare won't take you anywhere.
Make you swollen and red, send a migraine to your head,
blister and spasm, dizzy and faint, I'll make you vomit in the sink,
I'll give you cold and clammy flesh, make you pant to catch your breath.
And even though we've just begun, I'll black you out from so much fun.
I'll break through your barriers,
send melanoma carriers
little brown spots
lay you out on hospital cots
I'll dig in like a mole,
grow and blacken,
ooze, bleed,
itch and harden,
turn lumpy and swollen,
tender to the touch,
leave something for you to laser off.
And after physical pain, I'll make you insane,
by turning my heat up,
'til you scream, "Don't touch me, it's hot!"
And I'll keep you from "holdin'
and kissin'
and squeazin'
and lovin'"
by lifting and stinking the piss from your city street
making your armpits reek.
I will germinate you, agitate you, aggravate you, exterminate you.
Turn up your refrigerator, fan, and AC, use up that electricity.
Until you learn to use my power, I will make you suffer.
I'll make your daytime brown, run your energy down,
And instead of vomiting in the sink
this time when I black you out, I'll make everything stink.
Mercury rising to the top, bringing your crime rate up.
I'll pick you fights in Shop-n-Save, stick your aged in their graves
ripping water off the shelf, thinking only about yourself,
knocking down your neighbor's son to steal his ice cream cone and run
straight
to the toilet where you'll drop
the curded cream in your gut,
with diarrhea, Oh, I'll be near you,
in the kitchen keeping it hot, making your food rot.
Open the freezer door for a blast of cold air
and smell what I've made in your Fridgedair.
I"ll drink your reservoir like Nestle Quik, suck it up and then spit
sticky sweet goo on you.
I come on heavy like spaghetti melting your face,
dripping sweat on the plate.
I'll set your swimming pools to boil, shake-n-bake your motor oil,
lock you in your car, but don't go far
from the window so I can begin,
to fry your ass under a magnifying glass,
incubate your lower, middle, and upper class.
Remember:
I'm stuck in place, you're moving at my pace,
You think this is heinous, spend some time on Mercury or Venus.
And at the end of the day, when I go down,
I'll be waiting in your concrete,
in your asphalt seeping heat.
Go ahead, run your air all night, I'll be sure to turn out the light.
And at the stroke of dawn, when I'm coming on strong,
I'll find you in your bathtub where I've left you cool and nice
sunstroked and drowned in a pool of melted ice.
"It's a sunshine day,
Everybody's smiling, (sunshine day),
everybody's laughing, (sunshine day),
..."